The Broken Picture

I'm not in the best of moods right now, and since this is my page I'm going to explain to you why. here, we, go.

Okay, so I have these two friends (for all intense and purposes we'll call them B and M.) I asked them if I could share their story but they're only letting me release part of it, so it's a little incomplete.

Here's a little background first. First, last year we all went with our church the is camp type thing, called CIY Move (Really fun, if you have a chance go.) There was me, B, M, and our friend Jess. Second, B and M are sisters. Third, B and M's parents are split up and they live with their mother.

At the beginning of this year we all promised that we would all go again, we had our rooming assignments all figured out and it would be all awesome. We were all so excited. I was going to room with B and M, and Jess was going to be in the single next to us.

Well then Jess comes up, around Christmas break, and tells us that this other thing (Babyfold) was the same week as CIY, and she had already signed up for Babyfold. We responded with wishes that she have a good time with the kids, and to take plenty of pictures.

That was the first crack in the picture we had imagined.

A couple of months pass, and B is fighting with her mother over some stuff. B has finally had enough and announces that she wants to move and live with her father. This sets her mother off on a terror. B does and currently is living with her father in a different city. She didn't take M with her.

Another crack.

The mother decides that since B isn't living with her anymore that the mother doesn't have to pay for CIY anymore. Keep in mind that the deposit had already been turned in and processed.

B told me that she was out, and she felt really bad, but she couldn't pay for it. (There was some other stuff too, not just the money issue, but they don't want me talking about that part.)  I was upset, but I understood that there wasn't much she could do about it.

More cracks.

School ended way too soon. I tried getting into contact with M, to talk about CIY and how we could still both have fun, even if B and Jess weren't going to be there.  I sent her texts, Facebook messages, and even e-mails, but I never got a response.

We ship out to CIY on Monday, the 22. M finally got back to me yesterday, the 17th. She said that she wasn't going. She didn't explain why, she didn't even say sorry.

Bam, the picture broke!

So now I'm out a roommate, because everyone has been planning for this thing since at the very least May. I'll be sitting on the bus without any of my best friends, I'll be eating my meals with my guy friend, and that's only if he's still going too!

Yes, I know what you're thinking, but Kells, now you can just make new friends. You know what? That's true, but still! We had started planning this and we all promised that we'd go, and now I'm the only one keeping that promise!

Half of me doesn't even want to go anymore, but I already paid, so I have to. I just hope this isn't all a bust.

This wasn't helpful, again, but this is kind of a big deal for me. Haven't you ever had people break a promise? It hurts. And It makes you think, 'Why even bother trying to make a picture, when it so easily can crack?'

From my corner to your heart, K.
(P.S. Sorry if this was so long.)
(P.P.S. I won't be on next week because of CIY.)

Job Limbo List

So for the past few months (ever since school ended) I've been job searching. I just want to say that all those businesses that aren't going to hire me because I'm not 'old enough' ya'll are missing out! because.....here, we, go.

That's right guys, Kellie is trying to get her life back together by getting a job. Man, do I want a job. My summer has been pretty dull, and I have stuff that I want (like a new laptop or a new flute) and to get that I need this thing called money.

What's worse is that my father is practically breathing down my neck, because if I don't get a "real" job then I have to work for him. That goes against one of my rules. The Platinum rule: Never work with family. It's really frustrating too, because I can't just apply at a McDonalds or something because the hours HAVE to be flexible around marching band and concert band.

Sometimes I hate band.

But, to be helpful I'm making a list of things to keep in mind while waiting for places to wake up and hire you.

Limbo List!

 

• Why you're doing this. I want that new flute. I need that new laptop.
• Who you're going to meet. Maybe your to be co-worker will become famous and remember you then mention you to a really hot friend.
• Is life a movie? No, but if it was you'd meet your new boy/girlfriend at work.
• Your friends can meet you! That is...if you have friends, then they can pop in and see you at work!
• Less time with the 'rents. I love my parents, but they can be sometimes overbearing.
• More birthday celebrations! Who doesn't love a happy birthday once a year.
• Making someone else's day. All it takes is a smile.

 

 

 

That's all I got. Just repeat the motto: "I is kind, I is smart, I is important!" but don't put that on your resume....then you really won't get hired.

 

From my corner to your heart, K.

How I delt. (Bad Rolemodel, Kellie)

Gosh, I feel like I should be posting better stuff but...I...it has to be...fine before I wimp out, here, we, go.

Obviously, this picture kind of explains my feelings right now. Life sort of sucks for right now. Let me expand...

SO, I told you about that guy, his name was Stone. We were together for about a few months, which now saying it makes this sound pathetic. (If you don't know anything about this, click here.)

One night, during one of my family's Sunday night dinners, he texts me. "Hey, Im breaking up w/u." I responded "Why?" and waited for an answer. A few hours passed so I texted him, "Why?" again. At midnight I get a text back, "It just didn't feel right."

All I could do was lay there. That was the cheesiest line I had ever heard. This coming from a guy who woke me up with a morning text with some sort of endearment. He would hold my hand in the hall (with entertwined fingers) and walk me to class. He'd kiss me before he left for wrestling practice, or he'd walk me to my car.

I felt so stupid. I thought someone had actually cared for me. It's different, when it's a guy.

I've realized, I've never been dumped before. Let me tell you something guys, getting dumped SUCKS, like hardcore, slam you in the face suck-age.

I hated feeling that way, I felt like I wasn't good enough, like every single compliment he said had been a lie. But you have to move on with your life, right? Yes. So, this is how I got over him, and I suggest you do not follow my lead because I'm not proud of what I did.

 

The K(ellie) in BreaK-up. (These are in no certain order.)

 

• Change the contact. His used to be "Stonie <3" but don't change it to "heartbreaker" or "Jerk-face" just change it to "Stone." Like everyone else in your phone.
• Movie-fest. I try to stay away from the romantics, so I go for action and superhero movies. I also try and stay away from comedy.
• The Rut. Everyone has this. This is when you stare up at your ceiling, not texting, not talking, not even thinking. Almost like you're dead to the world. This is the most depressing part.
• Dopamine. That's the pleasure chemical stuff in your brain. I get mine from exercise. Just remember if you do start exercising, be sure that you're staying hydrated and healthy.
• Denial. "Yeah, he'll call me back. It was probably just a friend that stole his phone. He'll come to his senses." Trust me, that usually doesn't happen.
• Try for Jealousy. I wore the outfits that I knew he liked, always had my hair up, and hung out with all my guy friends.
• Fake it. I surrounded myself with friends and whenever he looked over I would smile and nod, maybe laugh, as if I didn't even notice he was there.
• Music. At first it was all sad stuff and instrumentals, but then it changed into P!nk.
• Cartoon marathon. In PJs and with popcorn mixed with milkduds.
• Deleting the contact but failing and ending up staring at the number wishing he would call. I'm not proud.

 

 

 

The worst part about it was waking up in the morning without that "Good morning beautiful"s.

Okay, this has gone on long enough. Hell, I might not even post this.

 

From my corner to your heart, K.

(P.S. I promise[maybe] the next video will be more helpful. I just had to get this off my chest.)

Blog-ception anyone?

Hey'yal! So, obviously I've kind of been away for a while. Sorry about that. In almost all honesty, I nearly forgot I even had this thing! So, I felt like I should post something, but I don't know what. Then it hit me! I'll just write about how I write about stuff! At least until I can actually think of something to write about...here, we, go!

How to Blog a Blog (Kell's Way!)

 

1. The first thing I do is I watch the people around me. I see what they have trouble with, or what trends are happening in their life, just stuff like that.
2. Second, I write it down. I always have a notebook with me, and when I don't then I have my phone. If I don't write down what I'm thinking then it never gets remembered.
3. This is when the writing process begins. Half the time I write during my classes when the teacher loses my interest. Those make the best blogs.
4. Intro time! Once I have my topic I always write my intro first. Usually it's the easiest, because it's mostly just saying "Hey, today I'm writing about [insert topic here]"
5. Red, orange, green. If you haven't noticed yet, at the end of my intro I always have the here, we, go. I'll tell you the story behind that another time :)
6. Next is one of my favorite parts, the picture!!
   If you didn't see, I haven't put one up yet, but to everyone in the USA, happy late 4th of July!
    
   
7. Body. I like to do lists, so that's usually the format of my style.
8. Story time! If I put in a personal story of my own then I just write it, but if I'm using someone else's life story then I ALWAYS ask for permission to use it.
9. C'est fini. Once my list is done I wrap it all up in a quick couple of sentences then I end with my signature...

 

 

From my corner to your heart, K.
(P.S. sometimes I put in P.S.'s)
(P.P.S. I know this was dull, but I promise it'll get better)