How I delt. (Bad Rolemodel, Kellie)

Gosh, I feel like I should be posting better stuff but...I...it has to be...fine before I wimp out, here, we, go.

Obviously, this picture kind of explains my feelings right now. Life sort of sucks for right now. Let me expand...

SO, I told you about that guy, his name was Stone. We were together for about a few months, which now saying it makes this sound pathetic. (If you don't know anything about this, click here.)

One night, during one of my family's Sunday night dinners, he texts me. "Hey, Im breaking up w/u." I responded "Why?" and waited for an answer. A few hours passed so I texted him, "Why?" again. At midnight I get a text back, "It just didn't feel right."

All I could do was lay there. That was the cheesiest line I had ever heard. This coming from a guy who woke me up with a morning text with some sort of endearment. He would hold my hand in the hall (with entertwined fingers) and walk me to class. He'd kiss me before he left for wrestling practice, or he'd walk me to my car.

I felt so stupid. I thought someone had actually cared for me. It's different, when it's a guy.

I've realized, I've never been dumped before. Let me tell you something guys, getting dumped SUCKS, like hardcore, slam you in the face suck-age.

I hated feeling that way, I felt like I wasn't good enough, like every single compliment he said had been a lie. But you have to move on with your life, right? Yes. So, this is how I got over him, and I suggest you do not follow my lead because I'm not proud of what I did.

 

The K(ellie) in BreaK-up. (These are in no certain order.)

 

• Change the contact. His used to be "Stonie <3" but don't change it to "heartbreaker" or "Jerk-face" just change it to "Stone." Like everyone else in your phone.
• Movie-fest. I try to stay away from the romantics, so I go for action and superhero movies. I also try and stay away from comedy.
• The Rut. Everyone has this. This is when you stare up at your ceiling, not texting, not talking, not even thinking. Almost like you're dead to the world. This is the most depressing part.
• Dopamine. That's the pleasure chemical stuff in your brain. I get mine from exercise. Just remember if you do start exercising, be sure that you're staying hydrated and healthy.
• Denial. "Yeah, he'll call me back. It was probably just a friend that stole his phone. He'll come to his senses." Trust me, that usually doesn't happen.
• Try for Jealousy. I wore the outfits that I knew he liked, always had my hair up, and hung out with all my guy friends.
• Fake it. I surrounded myself with friends and whenever he looked over I would smile and nod, maybe laugh, as if I didn't even notice he was there.
• Music. At first it was all sad stuff and instrumentals, but then it changed into P!nk.
• Cartoon marathon. In PJs and with popcorn mixed with milkduds.
• Deleting the contact but failing and ending up staring at the number wishing he would call. I'm not proud.

 

 

 

The worst part about it was waking up in the morning without that "Good morning beautiful"s.

Okay, this has gone on long enough. Hell, I might not even post this.

 

From my corner to your heart, K.

(P.S. I promise[maybe] the next video will be more helpful. I just had to get this off my chest.)